Strange … or Good?

A friend of mine called me rather distraught the other day. She had just had a fight with her boyfriend and was feeling hurt and alone. i did what I could to console her. i think I did get her to calm down some. While we talked about the anatonmy of a lovers qurrel the subject, inevitably, came up about Elaine and I.

This is where I’m either strange, bad , or good. Well I guess technically this is where we are the aforementioned. Because as far as i can tell … Elaine and I have never had a ‘fight’. Am I too easy going? Are we really that compatable? (I’m hoping for this one) Is she too easy going? Are we too afraid of confrontation? Am I too afraid?

It is not as if we have not had our own differences of opinion. There are several areas of our personal philosophies that separate. For instance politically she leans to a more liberal/democractic way, and I tend toward the conservative/republican. But neither of us is stanch on either side. I have no qualms voting democrat, if I think the person is truly qualified and will represent my views, and I’m fairly sure that if Elaine feels the same way, but going the opposite way … err the … no … another way. In this like so many other aspects of life on earth … it is too important to make the discussion a simple us and them. But I digress.

I guess this is what I get for thinking so much. Meh.

5 AM?!

::sigh:: It’s almost 5 am … I’m still awake … damn it. Stupid Samurai Champloo. Oh well.

I had an odd thought today. What if … what it I really don’t like art? What if I don’t really enjoy making it. What if I picked it because it was less troublesome than Computer Science? [::shudder:: So .... much math .... ::shudder::] I mean seriously … I am more excited about other people doing art than I am about myself doing art. I guess I am still not sure what the point of my doing art is. I mean if I were to stop … would it really make a difference. Would anyone besides the people who know I ever did it, even notice that I ever held a pencil for something other than taking memos? Would they even care? Would I even care? Am I being down on myself … eh … maybe. But that doesn’t make this an invalid line of questioning.

Do any of us actually know … well no … thats me being an egotistical ass, thinking that the world is anything like me. Life path … destiny … the future … what ever. It’s always out there … it’s never here or now. It is like a dangling carrot … ever out of reach. Yeah yeah … shoot for the moon … you’ll always end up among the stars … yadda yadda. I donno. Maybe I’m just putting things off again. It’s a bad habit of mine … get excited leap into the air only to turn around and land back on the platform I just left, like Samus or Mario or Sonic or MegaMan. Or in my case Mega Dork. I can’t move forward … and the screen has shifted so I couldn’t go backward if I tried.

I donno what I’m saying … I’m just running off at the mouth. Don’t mind me. Stupid 5 am ranting. Blah.

It’s Shiny and New

Hello all! This is the first post from my bright shiny new mac mini. Yep. I’m back in the Apple saddle again. It’s rather nice. I still have a few tweeks left, like transferring my music collection to the new mac … and getting my iPod to sync to my mac. But then all will be better. Then I’ll get cracking on all this server business. I give myself a month to be a basic web master. Which in my case will be a bit of an oxymoron … but that will change. Hopefully I can pick up enough basic skills to get this stuff off the ground. I know I could just turn on web sharing … but that’s too easy. Not to mention a security risk. Hmmm ::thinking:: Maybe this will take a little longer than I thought. Well anyway I will get the web server going as soon as possible. I need to scan/photograph my portfolio drawings. I need to make some new portfolio drawings. Bah … stuff to do … blah. I also have tons o reading to catch up on. Well that’ll have to wait till I get the free time. Job opportunities come first … then server … then story and comic.

In other random er … well just other news. One of my old friends Barbra and I are going to be collaborating on a story together. She’s gonna write, I’m gonna draw. Hopefully that will turn out well. She has some interesting ideas and some possibility for artistic exploration. Anyway I’ll try to keep you all posted on all that.